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With just a few minor primaries to go, Democratic candidate Barack Obama has closed within 100 confirmed delegates of finally grabbing the nomination for president. Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton pressed him all the way, complete with a convincing victory yesterday in the Kentucky primary.

The Senator has made a historic effort for women everywhere and her ability to change history should be respected. Because Hillary stayed at the front of the bus, the presidency of the United States will no longer be decided by old white men in smokey backrooms.

A year ago, there were three major candidates that attracted my attention. Despite his not being right enough for the Republican Party, I thought Rudy Guiliani would have made a great president. Sen. Obama is my senator and I like him. I thought perhaps he was running for the presidency too early in his career. That’s not to say he was too inexperienced, but that there were great lions in the race for president this year and I thought he would be better off waiting until later to run for the office. I was wrong.

And, then, there’s Hillary.  There are so many things that I like about this woman that it is hard to not vote for her. She is intelligent and strong when women catch crap for that. She is generally graceful under pressure which is something I think a leader needs. She is also not an idealist; she’s realistic enough to know that sometimes you have to cut deals to get anything done.

So, why not vote for her? For the same reason the right-wing talk show hosts blast Obama: guilt by association. There’s a point when stand by your man becomes or should become stand up for yourself. I suppose a divorced woman for president might have been an even harder sell than the woman married to Bill Clinton, but I’m not sure.

I think a lot of women of the world might have had more respect for her if she had set aside her political ambitions and, just for a moment or two, been visibly human in the wake of all his philandering. Believe it or not, we respect women who cry too, when crying is appropriate. And, when the man who promised to love and trust you betrays you in front of a national audience, it is appropriate. Women understand that tears can be out of anger as well as pain.

And, your daughter didn’t help you at all. As much as I admire Hillary Clinton, my impression this campaign season of Chelsea was that she was a priviledged brat, making use of her connection to the candidate and her age to try to draw in a specific crowd, but nasty and mean when she was vetted by the press.  Hundreds in the media have referred to Hillary’s attitude, the idea that she deserve the nomination based on her hard work. But I didn’t see that nearly as much in her as I did in Chelsea. Maybe the former first daugher remembered how things were when she was a child and thought the media would treat her with kid gloves, but as an adult woman she should have handled things better. Getting snotty with the opposition does not get your mother elected.

And, if Hillary had an air indicating that she deserved the nomination, can anyone really blame her? For eyars, we have been told that if you do the right things, you can become president. She did everything right. She married a man with similar interests and ambitions. She forged coaltions and won the senate seat in a state with lots of convention delegates. She followed the party line and she eventually got spurned for a younger guy who did the same things.

In fairness to the Clintons, Michelle Obama has never been held to the scrutiny that faced Bill Clinton on the campaign trail. In fairness to her, that’s because she hasn’t earned it. Until she is a candidate in her own right, Michelle is subjected to the secondary guidelines for spouses. Bill had his time in the limelight and is a public figure in his own right. Michelle is a publci figure by association.

Still, Hillary had a right to expect the nomination. She paid her dues. And, while nobody wants to officially address the gender issue, I think that ultimately it was a factor. Hillary had been taught and conditioned that to be viewed as a strong woman, she had to shutter her emotions and that left Barack appearing as the more compassionate candidate. Her image makers got the tough, but forgot that she still needed to be human.

The lesson Hillary has taught us  is that we still more than we expect in a woman politician than we do in a man. She has to do everything they do and more. She ust work doubly hard to prove her toughness and still be feminine and compassionate. it is a hard standard to live to.

But the time has come for Hillary to bow gracefully out of the campaign and to become an active member of the Obama team. Though it is unlikely she will be chosen as the vice presidential nominee, I believe Obama would be greatly served by drawing this intelligent and experienced woman into the fold and letting her shine as a high-level official in his cabinet once he is elected in November.

Then, Hillary can ditch the Margaret Thatcher approach, knowing Americans don’t always want a stiff upper lip,  and run when Obama’s term is over as a softer, gentler and more real version of herself. And, if she ditches Bill along the way, so mcuh the better.

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